There are a lot of you out there who have followed my fashion blogger journey since it began in 2010, which I am incredibly grateful for, and there are so many of you who joined me a couple of years, months, weeks or even a few days ago. Since my blog is so personal to me and I feel like we have built up a little community here which I trust and feel safe with, I wanted to explain to you something about my life that I have kept hidden from my blog all this time. This wasn’t because I didn’t trust anyone or because I’m ashamed, it was mainly because I wanted to make sure I could succeed in doing what I wanted to do without any sympathy votes or without it having an impact on my progress. 5 years have gone by now and I’m ready to explain things to you all, now that I know it wont have an impact on my blogging life and work.
I have M.E. Kind of similar to CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), but a lot more symptoms are involved.
I started getting ill with glandular fever when I was about 12/13 years old and after months, it had developed into M.E. I was going back and forth between hospital and doctors appointments for just over a year, trying to figure out what was wrong with me but after countless tests, studies, examinations and everything else, nobody really knew what was wrong. I found another doctor to visit and she ended up being my life saver. After a month or two of seeing her, we found out that I had M.E and that’s what was causing my problems and making me so ill, tired and sick all the time. It wasn’t until I was almost 15 that I was diagnosed, which was a crucial age for me with my exams coming up in school.
I actually ended up missing half of my last year of school, I missed most of my GCSE exams and was graded mostly on my coursework that I had managed to do. Luckily for me, I still got quite a few good grades which was helpful, but it was such a horrible time for me. Missing so much school because I couldn’t get out of bed or function properly was a disaster. I was a tomboy growing up which meant I lived outside playing football, basketball, riding my bike or skateboard etc and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. So having that stripped away from me which also meant that I lost a lot of my friends was the worst time of my life. Things truly got so bad back then that I was at my wits end and I spiraled into severe depression and anxiety. My current living arrangements back then didn’t help me at all, but my mum and dad have always been extremely supportive, as well as my nan and grandad, so having people around me who cared for me really did help me pull through those dark times.
I’m 27 in a couple of weeks so I have had the M.E now for almost 14 years, but I will say as time goes on and after pacing myself correctly, learning to cope with it, knowing what I can and can’t do etc really does help. I mainly wanted to make this post to let other people with M.E out there know that it’s not the end of your life. I met someone online a few months back who is having the worst time with her M.E right now, but I want so many of you to know that it will get better. You may not feel like it will, and gosh knows all those years ago when I couldn’t get out of bed I didn’t think it would, but it does. I promise. It just takes time and patience and that amount of time varies from individual to individual. I’ve met people who got better in 2 years, I’ve met people who only started to feel better after 20 years, and a whole range in-between. But the outcome is the same and that is that it’s not forever. Learning this is what got me through. Staying mentally strong is important.