As you know, Adam and I got engaged almost 6 weeks ago and the support from all of you has been incredible! There were 80 comments on the blog post alone and about 70 more via social media, so a huge thank you to all of you for the congratulations and well wishes. It truly means so much to us. As I tend to keep my private life off of the blog and hardly any of you know anything about Adam (other than the fact he takes my photos), I thought it would be nice to do an engagement Q&A with both Adam and myself so you can get to know him and our relationship a bit better. After all, he’s a huge part of my life and so are all of you, so I hope you enjoy it! If you do have any other questions, please leave them as a comment below.
How did you both first meet?
Lorna: We actually met online on a denim forum (DenimBlog) when I private messaged Adam about something I had seen him write in a thread. I’d often seen him posting around the site with his cool animated avatar, but never messaged him until then. We ended up speaking every day and found that we had a lot in common.
Adam: We actually both met online, however it wasn’t the traditional method of a ‘dating’ site. It was actually on a denim forum (DenimBlog). We both had a love of denim long before we’d met each other. Lorna was a moderator on the forum, she private messaged me regarding some Chinese skincare product I was using, which sparked us having long conversations with each other throughout the coming weeks! We found out we had so much in common and we became great friends. We spoke everyday since that point, sometimes into the early hours when we should have been sleeping! But it wasn’t until over a year later that we actually met in real life!
Was it love at first site?
Lorna: No, it wasn’t. We hadn’t met each other in person, so we only knew each other online on the forum. I was in a relationship with someone else at the time anyway, so our conversations were built around friendship and getting to know each other. No love was involved.
Adam: Difficult to answer, as we first saw each other online through photos. Once we did finally meet, we’d known each other a long time so we already had strong feelings for each other.
What was your first date?
Lorna: Since our friendship was online, I guess you could say our first date was when we met for the first time? It was awkward and I was extremely shy, but we met each other in the train station after Adam had travelled down from Birmingham. He actually missed his first train and had to get another ticket and a later train, ha ha. He was coming to spend the weekend with me, so we didn’t do much actually, just stay home and get used to each other in person.
Adam: I’m not sure we actually had a first date. The first day we met in real life, I guess could be regarded as a first date. We had oversized messy baguettes for lunch (perfect to impress a lady!) then after we played Halo on Xbox, she proceeded to chase me around the map with the hammers and smash me with them!
Lorna: Not that I play games! *runs away* Ha ha! But I do remember the food! That was hilarious!
When did you know you loved each other?
Lorna: I don’t know the answer to this one actually as it was a slow progression. I knew I loved Adam as a best friend and a person for a long time because he’s such a beautiful human being, but I guess I knew I had actual feelings for him a few months before we got together as things started to pop into my head and he was always on my mind, so it developed from there. That was almost 9 years ago.
Adam: Difficult to pinpoint this exactly, as we knew each other for over a year online and via phone. It had gotten to the point where we couldn’t go without speaking to each other. We clearly cared for each other strongly from an early part of our friendship. I think we already loved each other before we officially announced we were boyfriend and girlfriend.
When did you know you wanted to spend the rest of your life together?
Lorna: When I met Adam and we built up a friendship, I knew I wanted him in my life forever anyway, we just connected so well. It wasn’t until we fell in love with each other (answer above) that I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, more than just a friend.
Adam: Same as my answer above really!
Adam, when did you know you wanted to propose?
Adam: It was coming up to 8 years we’d been together, which is long time. Also, I was getting fairly regular hints from certain people who will remain nameless!
Lorna: *Looks innocent*
Were you nervous about it?
Adam: I was sort of nervous, but I was around 99% sure she was going to say yes, which took the edge off! But my main worry was that it was going to all go to plan, especially the secrecy of when and where I planned to do it. Most of all I was nervous that the secret photos would be OK and that the photographer would turn up, and that Lorna would actually agree to go down to the beach at the allotted time! Thankfully it more or less went to plan!
Did you know exactly what ring she would love?
Adam: Fortunately I’ve known this for years! She’s told me the exact ring she wanted (since she was young) to me countless times. A princess cut Tiffany ring. I was quite an expert in diamond engagement rings by the time I purchased it.
Lorna, did you have any idea about the proposal and did you know you’d say yes?
Lorna: I did actually. I didn’t know everything, but we had discussed getting engaged and married for a couple of years before and we had decided when the time was right, it would happen. For the past two years I’ve actually thought it would be imminent so I didn’t know when it would happen, but then I had an inkling it would be on holiday as I couldn’t logically think of another time he’d do it. I absolutely knew I would say yes 100%. I wouldn’t have spoken about getting engaged or brought it up if I didn’t, but more importantly, I wouldn’t be with Adam if it wasn’t a forever thing. I’ve only had two relationships in my 28 years, so I’m only interested in the real thing. Adam is that for me.
How did the proposal happen?
Lorna: I did a blog post on this entirely (see the proposal here) but it happened on the beach at sunset on Sunday the 3rd July in St. Ives. It was magical.
What’s the best thing about your relationship?
Lorna: For me it’s actually everything. We understand each other, we both like our own personal space, we rarely ever argue, we appreciate each other, and we always want what’s best for each other, being accepting of the other one and their choices. We trust each other completely so there’s no room for jealousy or obsessive behaviour, so it just works. We get on so well, we are like one person.
Adam: The best thing about our relationship is that we are quite similar, we pretty much love the same things and get on really well.
What traits do you love most about each other?
Lorna: Adam is the most kindest, caring, wonderful person I know. He loves animals as much as I do, he goes out of his way to help them like I do, even insects. He is very close to his family and is extremely loyal. We share quite a few interests, but we also have a lot of different hobbies and I like that he takes an interest in mine, as I do his. One of the big things for me is how supportive of my health issues he is and my work – he’s perfect. I’m an extremely lucky girl. He has his own mind, his own thoughts and he’s very much his own person, so when we have conversations, they are proper discussions. We never just agree to make the other one happy, so I love that he stays true to himself and is his own man.
Adam: Because we are so similar, the things I love about Lorna are: I love how she cares so much for animals and nature, she is willing to forgo everything including her own safety to ensure an animal is not harmed. I love how we are both so open in our relationship about everything. I even love her addiction to clothes and designer bags! Yes, it means we have less space, but I actually enjoy shopping with her!
Lorna: That actually made me laugh, I can’t deny the less space statement.
If you could change anything about the other, what would it be?
Lorna: Absolutely nothing. I’m not about being with a person to change them and shape them. I’m with Adam because I love him exactly the way he is and support him in everything he chooses. Or maybe… he did break his elbow many years ago and it has pins in it, which causes him problems sometimes, so maybe a fully functioning elbow might be nice for him, ha ha.
Adam: It may sound somewhat of a cliche, but genuinely there is nothing I would change about Lorna, everything about her creates the whole that makes me love her. She may have a little bit too much of an addiction to chocolate! But I can live with that.
Lorna: It’s true, I do.
You have spent over 8 years together, has the other changed much?
Lorna: We have both changed, everyone does as you grow up and learn. I was only 18 when I met Adam, he was 25, so I’m 28 now and he’s 35. A lot changes in those 10 years, but we have grown together and become better, stronger, happier people in my opinion. He’s also definitely got way more good looking with age! The biggest change though is the fact that growing and changing together has brought us closer together.
Adam: I agree completely with everything Lorna just said!
What do you think is the reason(s) that your relationship works?
Lorna: I was actually going to do a blog post on relationships separately, but for me it ultimately comes down to complete trust and happiness with yourself. If you have full trust in your partner and you are happy with yourself, there’s no room for jealousy and insecurity to be inflicted on the other person. Only room for growth and happiness. Appreciate the small things in life, appreciate each other and when you spend time together, make it quality time. I think that’s why our long distance situation works well for us.
Adam: I actually think that the long distance even helps our relationship, we both get our own time to do our own thing. We of course miss each other, but the time apart during the week makes us value our time when we are together at the weekends.
How do you manage the long distance relationship?
Lorna: Quite easily, we have a routine of spending 3 weekends a month together. Weekdays are working days for us both, so we spend 3 consecutive weekends together, then the 4th we spend apart. Obviously in between we chat via the phone and text messages. It works well for us because we both like our space and are fairly independent people mentally. The weekends we get together are free from work and are about being present with each other, so we enjoy that time.
Adam: It’s actually not too bad, we see each other most weekends, sometimes they are extended due to how my work is. We text throughout my working day and of an evening. We have phone calls at similar times throughout each day too. We’ve had this same routine for the last 8 years! And it has worked for us!
Finally, what do you both envision for the future together?
Lorna: For me it’s getting married in a few years time (or whenever it happens), getting a house together and building our life up from there. Continuing to support each other and be there for one another all the time and enjoy life. I hope that blogging for me will grow and grow, meaning Adam can come on and work with me too, that would be ideal.
Adam: Finally living together, being able to wake up next to each other everyday is our long term goal.
I wanted to end this Q&A by saying it was so nice to read Adam’s comments about me. It’s not often that we do this kind of thing at all, so his answers made me laugh and just prove everything I already know! I really hope you enjoyed it and please do comment below if you did to say hi to Adam too! Lorna xx.